Recently Jough and I closed on a new house. At the closing we were talking with our agent about our buyers and the topic of entitlement came up. She said that she’s noticed more and more, especially with people under the age of thirty, that they feel they’re entitled to special treatment. They exist therefore they are owed. This was being discussed because our buyers felt they were owed our curtains. We, of course, left the rods and hardware, and all the windows were covered with blinds (commonly called treatments in contracts), but we never thought it would be a big deal to take our curtains. These were ours and went with our decorations and color scheme. What would they want with our curtains? But apparently during their final walk-through it was all they could talk about. Where are the curtains? Why’d they take the curtains? Those were to be ours, we wanted them. Who takes curtains? Making us into the curtain-stealing villains everyone knows us to be (granted I have great taste and the curtains are glorious). Apparently we didn’t comply with their expectations and they were about to blow the whole deal at their closing because we didn’t leave the curtains behind. Tensions were so high that Jough and I had to make an appearance at their closing (sellers normally don’t go to their buyer’s closing) so they could be appeased. Imagine a child on the floor throwing a tantrum because you’re denying them a piece of candy.
In the end though, they didn’t get my fucking curtains.
This could be a result of the prevailing philosophy that everyone should get a participation trophy; the mentality that you’re special because you’re you. I don’t know. I’m not an entitlement scientist.
I’m not exactly sure where this sense of entitlement comes from but it’s not the first time we’ve run into it.
Consider our ex-neighbor. Shortly after we moved into our previous home (and she into hers, as we bought around the same time) her basement flooded. She called a meeting to discuss what everyone was going to do about it. Yes, everyone. She had contractors and plumbers galore come over to explore options, but these options meant us pooling cash to help cover her costs, ripping into the back of our unit to add additional drain spouts, and whatever else was needed. When we questioned the work, especially questioning what was really needed to avoid future flooding, we incurred her ire and wrath. How dare we question her. That was her response to us. How dare we talk to her like that.
“Just so you are not confused,,,, you and your wife are very nasty and selfish people in which i limit all communication to a null. I am not sure, just becuase I am not married and live by myself I will let you talk to me in this way…. and I won’t let this happen. I am being polite at this point but it will not happen again.”
(That’s a direct quote from an email, the grammatical errors are hers. In case you feel I’m being unfair in calling her out on these errors, she calls herself Dr. even though she’s a pharmacist and not a physician).
So she’s saying because Jough and I are married we have no right to talk to her in such a manner (reasonable, questioning manner) because she’s single. Huh. We’ve hit crazy-town on the crazy train. All aboard.
Her narcissism grew over the years.
There was a small patch of land in the front of our units of which she laid claim to. According to the deed and survey this was common land (albeit small, but any grass in the city is worth having). She ripped it up and added astroturf. Mine. All mine. My precious <strokes grass>. We could’ve argued the legitimacy of it being common, but in the end decided against it. No need to provoke the crazy.
There are several other stories I could write about (and probably will), but I’ll skip to the end. Through 100+ email exchanges concerning a new intercom buzzer that got very heated in the end, she made several demands of us which culminated in a final email accusing me of harassment (I called her a bitch on Twitter), here’s a snippet:
“At this time I have filed a harassment incident under your name with the CPD effective today: R.D. _______.1 At this time, if you come near me, or my property I can arrest you for trespassing. If you come near me in a public area, I too can arrest you since this claim will remain open by me indefinitely. This report contains a full description of you and the police will have no option but to move forward with criminal charges.”
Clearly she has no idea how the system works, but okay. Free speech, first amendment be damned.
I guess it’s my fault for provoking the crazy. I said before, there’s no need, but in the end I didn’t listen to my own advice. See, at first, I was pretty incredulous about her behavior. I thought she was joking. Insisting this, demanding that. Surely people don’t act this way. I was wrong.
Also, I’m pretty sure she’s obsessed with us. It’s obvious she had to look us up to gain any knowledge of what we write and post. (I realize I’m awesome, but my awesomeness is for a select few). It’s funny to me how she accuses us of being nasty and rude, and yet we’ve been the ones to receive the full brunt of her nastiness and anger. She filed a harassment incident against me, and yet again, I’m the one who has had to tell her to stop emailing and contacting us. This is the very definition of entitlement, the unreasonable expectation that one should receive special privileges, or act a certain way for you.
This whole entitlement issue reminds me of an article I read awhile ago about Whole Foods.
It’s interesting how people go through life not recognizing that their feelings and rationalizations towards others are really about their own sense of themselves.